Cafe-au-Lait

I don't normally drink coffee anymore. Look it up. The Mystery of the Caffeinated Me is quite a fun true story. But now that November is quickly approaching (not fast enough because my creative fingers are dancing over the keyboard in anticipation), I feel that coffee inspiration is like a kick to jumpstart my creativity. Even with a splash of caffeine in my decaf coffee, I'm inspired.

I rearranged my desk this weekend--twice. Originally, it sits in my bedroom, facing the wall under the vast window. I feel boxed in some days. I have to twist and turn to look behind me and see any form of life. Completely turning it around with my back to the window proved to make me feel trapped and constricted nevermind the fact that anyone walking into my room acts as if they are stepping into an office and they ask me for a raise. Next step? Sit beside the window and stare at the closet door. It works. I was able to pound out 5 pages this weekend. It is a very small start but I'll take it!

Now, I must sit on my hands before November. Let's hope the coffee keeps me from scribbling out "ideas" which turn into chapters. Ha!

Psychology of Creative Writing

I use to write about the chase and the thrill of the excitement.
Now, I write about the psychology of the struggles of regret and tormenting secrets.
I love writing the psychology of it all. And I find it very difficult to go back to mainstream or pop art.
My stories are darker, full of secrets and have much more heart. They scare, excite and make me sick. I love it.
Maybe that was why I chose psychology and creative writing at college.

I can't write without inspiration...

A muse. It's someone that dances in my head until I give them a character to play, a life to live. Without them, I don't have a strong character.

An idea. This is the tricky one. More often then not, I have stories started without an idea. Let the lives play out.

An emotion. Sometimes, it's the swell of love in your heart. Sometimes it's a deep dark root of lust in your groin. Maybe the butterflies are in your stomach or that sugar rush in your veins. Whatever it is, you have to have something that inspires you to grab a muse, an idea and go with gusto to write.

Stupid but true, I have to have my book. A character has to have a name. And I have baby books that are worn thin. I've gone over and over and OVER my baby name books. Some times have stuck with me throughout years before they get characters. Sometimes, I've looked over a name so often that suddenly a character snaps my attention to it. "That's my name!" Favorite letters, favorite sounds, unique characteristics, definitions, gender-bending, creative, curious...there's something that pulls me to that name. I can't write without my baby name books.

Stock photos, artistic photography, music, an image on TV, they all pull at a creative part of my mind that make me turn. Just a two-second kiss in a movie without any sort of romantic theme can inspire novels of ideas. Makes you claw your way through the raw emotions, digging for something pearl, tiny and seemingly insignificant but it could create mountains. A flicker of a smile, a break of character...it spawns something deep.

This is how stories are brought to life. Or how they could start to form. Not all of them materialize for very long or even some do not master artwork. But they do create a spark.

I write what I want to read. I discover, develop and expand upon emotions that I feel and want to explore. The book's not written--not with the emotion and relationships that I want to witness. So I write it.
And I write for those who don't get a voice. Those little characters who play the off-beat sidekick or the best friend. They deserve their life too. While everyone's watching the stars, I focus every ounce of energy on breathing life into those who are cast aside. The author for the overlooked.

• Location:Office of Creative Possibilities
• Mood: optimistic
• Music:*lawn mower outside*

Blah Blah Blah Bad Romance

Because I'm dancing erratically from stone to stone, trying to stretch the ideas so they're formed enough to mesh together, I'm losing sight of a few things. And I'm halfway through the month with 70% left of my script to finish but feeling little excitement for their dilemmas. Instead, I'm going to write some random. Why not? I want to play with this muse before he escapes me!

Forward: this his NOTHING to do with any of my stories or any movies/books/songs/media of any kind. Do I have a plan for this to be a story? No. I have ideas but this is just a blurp. So, take it what you will. BTW, I say this is complete crap but I want to at least get the basis of my scene out. Sorry for the lame description.

OMG Did That Just Inspire Me?

So, I decided to call it quits on the script. My first official participation year and I decide to label it DOA or at least put it on pause while I get up for a glass of water. It's not because I'm blocked. Okay, part of me is. I've hit a wall. The script should be a short story. Like, 30 pages short story. Not 100 minutes of screen time. Oh well. The main reason I wanted to hold off on the script is that, well, I have very active muses who dance up and down in front of me saying "please look at me! I want to be written! Please! Pretty-pretty please!" Well, Kirby wasn't. He's been my busy little muse (I think he's taken Grant's place?! --BTW, yes, I name my muse after their most memorable role in my world. This one has had several names--Kirby, Pit, Pep, Pip...but he's always known as Pipe in my heart). Kirby was a quiet, always constant, peeking around the corners at me so I knew he was there all along.
He just wouldn't fit into my script. He wouldn't and neither would any of the other muses who have skipped circles around me (they're pretty jolly, aren't they, those muses). So, my script was kind of halted because 1. I couldn't figure out what to do with the characters and 2. I was meeting a lot of other characters that needed their own stories. So, I moved to another story. Actually, the novel I was working on before April. Which came first? The script story. But regardless, the characters are still solid, they can hold off. But, after a new muse finally decided to calm down and settle in that story (after trying to give it it's own story that was mostly a series of moments) and not deciding to jump into my script, I decided to novel instead of script.
Well, that's not happening. Now, I'm kind of giddy again. Just the thrill of writing, the excitement. It's like playing house, honestly. Or like playing with dolls. I swear, that's how I got into writing. I grew up from playing house (or "soap opera" as we got older) and Barbies. Daydreaming needed to be documented and stories just happened.

But here is the email I received this afternoon that really jump-started my script mojo.
Kind of exciting.
I am SO GLAD to have these people in my life!

It's Starting Again...

I can't get him out of my mind...it starts out tinier than a minuscule grain of sand. That muse that just tickles and bubbles. But I can't figure out if I want to run with this one or not. There is so much work that needs to be done this month. Deadlines and projects. Can I put off this inspiration for a whole month? What if I play with these ideas for just a small amount of time...let them swim and wiggle...but what if I completely abandon my two major projects at the moment? What if I drop my deadlines? I can't fail but the excitement is almost starting to take affect. Now, I'm left wondering what I want to do.

Hmm...I think I'm going to play for a little while.
What can I say, I'm addicted to him right now.

Panda, as in Panda Bear

This new story is a struggle. I mean, I've had writer's block before and I've had stories that rip up my emotions but this one has it's own mess of internal issues. It came to me first by way of emotions. You can't write a book based on emotions. When all you get is that feeling coursing through your veins and the descriptions of such strong emotions, you just have to sit back and wait for the story to come to you or you have to make the conscious effort to push it in your direction. Either way, I was focused on my nano-inspired story and tried to focus my attention on one muse at a time. But in the back dark corners, this new muse kept peeking around the corner every once in a while. I'd get a glimpse of his yellow blond hair before he darted away. Until finally, he was starting to grow on me and emerge himself. There, now my story had been given a muse to play with. But what to do with him? The ideas had been swimming around my brain for months (and I do mean months) before I finally settled on a few. I found a great underlining story, a character conflict, to fuel some turmoil. Great! But none of this can actually pull together a whole novel--unless I want to amp up the conflict (which I didn't. It's character-driven, not story-driven) or make this into something small (which again, I didn't). So, I pushed through it. And lately it seems like my life would make the perfect story! But why lose that fun? I want to learn the story rather than already live it. So, I decided to play around with the ideas.
And finally it hit me. I had a perfect place for all of this to take place! It fit everything! It encompassed everything I wanted to say! But now I was stuck. I had emotions, a muse, underlining character conflicts and a place to play with them. Again, it was a bit of a waiting game. And thanks to an amazing author of mine, I found a new genre to play in. I already knew her struggles with it but decided to take it on. So now, here it goes. The characters are starting to really define themselves and I am in complete love with them.
This is exciting. This is why I write.